My December
by Yukina-Raven
Summary: Sequel to 'Winter in Germany' Edward returns from a four year absence after returning from the Gate. What awaits him is a very different place and a very broken Winry. EdxWinry
1. to places long forgotten

My December

to places long forgotten

The train sped along the tracks, making the cars sway and lulling passengers to sleep with its rhythmic sounds. But the train cars were all empty, save for a few people scattered here and there. This handful of people, however, were not gathered on the same car and had all spread themselves out. The lack of people was due to the hour. It was very late, the sky pitch black as if someone had spilled ink across it. A heavy snowfall poured from this sky, blanketing the world in white. The train jerked and suddenly the scenery outside the window changed into a wide open black river. Dots of light from a small town on the shore reflected on the black water's surface, but it was mostly lost in the snow.

Edward sat on a car all alone. He wore a heavy dark jacket over strange clothes and his gloved hands resting in his lap. His blonde hair was pulled up into a ponytail that was currently draped over one shoulder. He stared out the window with very distant golden eyes, as if he wasn't truly there. A light that had once burned in their golden depths had gone out. His head rested against the frosted glass of the window, long bangs pressed up against the side of his face and the cold causing his cheek to feel numb. He watched the snow fly by as if he was traveling through the cosmos. It made him dizzy when his eyes tried to follow individual white specks. He watched the blank water below instead, peering at it past the tracks rushing by. The snow drifted down at amazing speed and disappeared past the tracks into the dark depths below. The car he occupied was dark and cold, much like his mood.

But then the train suddenly finished its crossing of the bridge and shuttered as it jumped to new tracks. Dim lights of the new city lit the dim car. They created dancing shadows that rolled across the length of the car, stretching to envelop it all in shadow before they looped around and did it again. Ed blinked and squinted a bit as his eyes adjusted to the glaring of this new light coming through his window. He felt the train begin to slow and he stood to gather his suitcase before sitting back down. The train eventually jerked to a stop and released steam with a loud hiss that stung his ears. Ed witnessed the steam rise by the window and fog it before he left the train.

The air was somehow colder outside as his feet stepped onto the shoveled platform, his single suitcase clutched in one gloved hand. Like the train, the platform was almost a complete void of life. Ed's eyes roamed over the area before a conductor, disgruntled from the cold, shoved him along. Ed complied without a word, limping away to follow after the few people left. He left the station and made his way into the city, careful through the snowy sidewalk that was in the process of being shoveled. He past the shovelers, only glancing at one when he accidentally bumped into him. This city sat near his destination, yet it was still a ways away. Trains didn't run to Resembool anymore.

"Edward? Edward Elric? Is that really you?"

Ed stopped walking and turned around. A shoveler had stopped his work, now turned to faced him. It took Ed a moment to recognize the man's face and then place a name to it.

"Eric?"

The man grinned, displaying perfect teeth. He approached Ed and stopped in front of him, leaning on his shovel.

"Well I'll be damned! You're back!"

"Yeah."

"Are you all right? You look like you've been through hell."

Ed let a dry laugh escape his sore throat. "You could say that."

"Man... how long has it been? Four years?"

"Yeah."

Eric whistled and shook his head. "You're crazy, leaving like that for so long. Especially after disappearing for two years prior. So where are you heading?"

"I don't know," Ed admitted. "Home, I guess."

Eric frowned. "Ed, Resembool's a ghost town. No one lives there anymore."

"I know, but there's something I need to confirm."

"Given your appearance, I don't think you should see anything from there. It'd only make it all the wore, you know."

Ed shrugged his left shoulder only and Eric just shook his head again, picking his shovel back up.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

Walking all the way to Resembool was not an option for the limping Edward. Plus it was snowing and much too cold to make the long trek. But Ed couldn't wait until morning and after much arguing he convinced a cab driver to take him out. He took to staring out the window again, watching the falling snow rush by. Eventually the cab stopped on the familiar dirt road, covered with snow, and Ed stepped out. He paid the cab driver and it wasn't until he had driven away that Ed realized he was now stuck here. Sighing at his own stupidity, Ed began to walk down the road, snow only ankle deep now. But given how hard it was falling, Ed wouldn't be surprised if it was knee deep in another hour or so.

But the snow was not what caught his grave eyes. It was Resembool itself. Any houses that had once been standing were gone as were trees. The place was nothing but a white plain, black patches where the remains of the houses were. He passed his own house, but barely gave it a passing glance. After so many years it was almost impossible to tell his house had even existed. Finally Ed came to a halt in front of a familiar pile of charred wood. The black stood in stark contrast with the white snow, but the comparison was lost to the dark of night. He stares for a long time at what was once the Rockbell house. His face was hard to understand. It was both sad and expressionless at the same time. But just to see this place burned to the ground like it was nothing... He felt just like his father at the moment when he had first returned to Resembool after his long absence. It made him feel sick.

Footsteps crunching in the snow behind him made him turn half way. He stared blankly at the person, shock flickering across his face. The woman staring back at him kept her face carefully free of emotions, her lips set in a thin line. Somehow Ed found his voice, as tired and as weak as it was.

"Winry..."

She flinched when he said her name. It was Winry, older and wrapped in a heavy jacket with hands tucked into her pockets. Two strands of blonde hair hung down on either side of her face while the rest was pinned up in the back, much like Hawkeye had worn her long hair. Sapphire eyes stared at him rather coldly from behind her bangs. Ed wasn't sure whether to be relieved she was here or terrified at the inevitable doom he now had to face.

"Four years. Again," Winry suddenly whispered, creating a white cloud in front of her face.

Ed looked pained by her words before looking away, back to the charred pile. He said nothing and Winry's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Why?"

"I'm sorry," Ed said instead, voice barely above a whisper.

"No you're not," Winry spat harshly. "If you were, you wouldn't have left."

A period of silence before Ed spoke again, eyes never leaving the ruins. "There's nothing left, huh?" He muttered, speaking more to himself.

Winry gave him a flat look for his incredibly obvious statement, but kept her thoughts to herself. Instead she stepped up beside him, wrapping her arms around herself.

"They burned everything," She said. "And killed almost everyone. Then they herded the ones they didn't have time to kill like animals into the neighboring city and told us never to come back. That was just before the war ended. Parliament swears they're going to rebuild and give us homes again, but nothing has happened. Even if they kept their promise, no one would return. None of us have kept hope to return here."

"You're here," Ed pointed out.

"Because I knew you would be," Winry huffed. "This is the first time I've returned since the incident. I couldn't find the courage to."

A weary smile crept across Ed's face. "But how did you know I would be here today? ...Er, tonight."

"I heard a rumor... that your ghost had returned," Winry replied, looking out across the snowy plain.

"Word travels that fast?"

"You have no idea. Besides, I have no reason to explain my actions to _you_."

Her words stung. "Right." He hesitated a moment before he spoke again. "How is... everyone?"

Winry's face instantly darkened and she turned to him angrily.

"Oh, _now_ we matter to you?" She snarled.

"Don't start this now..."

"Start what? Sorry to have to bring you back to reality, Ed, but someone has to. How long can you live in your dream? How long will you keep running away! _Four years_, Ed! Just after you had returned, you left again! Why! Tell me why!"

Ed seemed agitated now, but it was hard to tell. "You don't understand."

"Make me understand! Make me understand why!"

"How old is Al now?" Ed suddenly asked absently.

Winry blinked, taken off guard by the abruptly change in subject. He was looking away from her again, eyes focused down the road as he peered through the falling snow. Winry rubbed her arms and glared at him, but her voice was soft.

"He's sixteen now. He still doesn't remember anything, but he misses you. You disappearing again really hurt him, you know."

Ed looked guilty and Winry took a slight pleasure in that, which in turn made _her_ feel guilty. But she couldn't help it. She was angry and frustrated. Angry that making Al hurt made Ed guilty while making her hurt seemed to invoke no feelings of remorse in him.

"Sixteen, huh..." Ed mumbled, dropping his eyes to his feet.

"You're twenty-two, aren't you?" Winry asked casually.

"Twenty-three," Ed corrected, glancing briefly as a plain silver pocket watch on his belt. "It's midnight."

Another moment of silence as Ed put the watch back in his pocket. Winry watched him and slowly her face fell and her eyes softened. Truth be told, Winry had returned here everyday since the incident, looking for the man that now stood beside her. And that was the frustration part of her current emotions. How stupid was she to cling to the one who always broke her heart? Just looking at him hurt so much. It was like watching a ghost or a picture that wasn't real yet depicted something that had once been real. Oh, she had tried to move on and forget him. She had dated other guys, enjoyed it too. But all those relationships had ended because she was too pathetic to let Ed go.

Suddenly Ed turned and began to limp away. Winry looked alarmed and hurried after him.

"Where are you going?" She demanded, blocking his path.

"Well, if I plan to get back to the city before it gets any later I better start walking now," Ed replied matter-of-factly.

"The city is over twenty miles from here!"

"Yeah."

Winry stared at him before she shook her head. "You're limping...and you're carrying your suitcase with your left hand."

Ed blinked at her before glancing down at his suitcase as if he had to confirm this for himself.

"Is something wrong with your automail?" Winry continued.

"It isn't automail," Ed admitted, glancing up at her sadly.

"Huh? Not automail?"

"Well, not the good kind. It's the cheap kind. It doesn't connect the nerves very well, so I can't really move it."

Winry stared at him incredulously. "You idiots... using cheap automail..."

"I don't have enough money for anything better."

Winry took this information in slowly before she suddenly made the connection. "That's the only reason you came back, isn't it?" Winry asked softly, dropping her eyes to her feet and clenching her hands into fists. "Well, if you think I'll--"

"No," Ed interrupted quickly. "I... no. That's not why I came back. I've been without real automail for three and a half years."

"Oh..."

Ed tried to smile, but it was empty. He limped past her and she allowed him to get several steps away before she turned around quickly.

"I won't let you walk over twenty miles in this weather."

Ed stopped again and glanced over his shoulder at her curiously. Winry motioned with a gloved hand for him to com with her. Ed hesitated, knowing the last thing he deserved was her kindness. She must hate him...

"Are you coming or not?" Winry snapped.

Ed stared sadly at her face, examining how little it had changed even with age. Eyes still bright and blue, skin still soft looking and slightly pale, cheeks now a bit red due to the cold. Then Edward nodded and followed her to her car.

The car ride was silent. Winry drove while Ed merely took to staring blankly out the window, again watching the snow. Winry glanced at him occasionally as if wishing he would say something, but of course he didn't and she didn't really feel like talking either. So the sat in silence the entire drive back to the city, named Wayward according to a sign. The city was fairly new. Ed vaguely remembered it was under construction still when he returned through the Gate, although it had been close to completion. Resembool had grown too, although it was still considered a small country town compared to places like Central. Although now it was nothing but ashes. The city lights were bright in contrast to the near darkness of the countryside. Ed watched the various dim lights rush by. Finally the car slowed and stopped in front of a tall building. It looked like an inn.

"You live here now," Ed stated for no apparent reason other than to break the unnerving silence.

"Yeah. I don't like it much, but its a place to stay."

The two left the car, Winry carrying Ed's suitcase because his limping was worrying her. She bluntly ignored him when he tried to insist he was fine. She knew Ed. He could be bleeding from the head and still insist he was fine. She lead the way to the fifth floor, to apartment 506 hung on the door in tarnished gold. She unlocked the door after a brief search for her keys. It was a medium sized place, too large for one person but perfect for two, maybe three. It had a small living room with a radio and the room opened up into the kitchen. Ed observed a hallway behind the kitchen as he walked further in, one door on the side and one door at the end. He wandered into the living room.

"It's nice," He said absently. "Is all this space necessary for one person?"

"I don't know why they gave me such a large room," Winry replied, dragging his suitcase into the apartment. "I told them it was only me, but the guy insisted on giving me this place. For cheap, too. I think he likes me... he visits me a lot."

Winry had no idea why she had rambled like that. Perhaps she was trying to make him jealous. Either way, Ed was unfazed as he turned back to her and took his suitcase from her. He turned back and sat the suitcase on the couch, Winry watching him. He continued to look around the place. He seemed so lost and out of place here. But seeing him here with her... it brought back happy memories she was sure she had forever buried away. A light smile touched her lips and she clamped her hands behind her back.

"I'll make you a cake," She announced.

Ed blinked from his daze and glanced over his shoulder at her, hair swaying with his movements. His confused face needed no words and she chuckled.

"Today's your birthday, you said so yourself. You're twenty-three."

"Yeah... but its so late. Don't make one so late."

"I'll make one now and you can have it when you get up."

Her voice indicated no room, for an argument and Ed held up his left hand in defeat. Winry smiled before a different thought crossed her mind.

"Oh... right, you'll need a place to sleep."

"I can sleep on the couch," Ed offered, shrugging his single shoulder again.

"No you can't. It's too uncomfortable. Hm..." Winry placed a finger to her chin in thought. "There's an extra room, but right now that's my work space so its kind of a mess. Besides, there's no bed there. So I guess... you can stay in my room tonight. There's two single beds there for some reason or another. You can use one."

Ed rubbed the back of his head, suddenly looking embarrassed. "If this is too much trouble I can always go somewhere else."

"There is no where else," Winry sighed. "At least, not for cheap. And why could this be trouble? Now go put your suitcase away."

There was a brief pause. Then Ed spoke softly.

"Don't you... hate me...?"

Winry, who was half way to the kitchen, froze. Ed stared sadly at her back and there was a deafening silence. Then Ed shook his head and picked up his suitcase from the couch.

"No," He said, voice hard to hear even in the silence. "No, I don't want to know. I can't handle that right now."

Winry remained silent, back still to him. She heard rather than saw him limp down the hall, checking the doors before he successfully located her bedroom through the door at the end of the hallway. Winry remained frozen long after the door had shut, face expressing deep pain. Suddenly everything that had happened and was happening hit her. Ed was really here, he was really back. Ed was really with her again... but... he was so different. Everything was different. They were older and Ed wasn't Ed anymore. Winry buried her face into her hands.

_Ed... Ed, what happened? What happened to you? What happened to _us

Winry made the cake as she said, despite the sleep fighting to claim her eyes. It wasn't anything special. Just a plain chocolate cake with white frosting and strawberries. It was a simple design but it belonged to and was made for Ed and that alone made it special. Ed never came back after he had ventured into her room. She thought about going to get him before she figured he was probably sleeping by now. She finished her baking, thankful it had taken her mind off of everything and stopped her tears for a little while. She cleaned up the mess she had made before she headed to her room slowly, nervous for some reason. She paused in front of the door before slowly opening it a crack, just enough to see inside. It was a precaution just in case he _wasn't_ asleep. And she was quickly glad she took that precaution.

Ed wasn't asleep after all. He was very much awake. He had taken the extra bed beside the window, which over looked the empty streets below. His suitcase sat on the floor at the foot of the bed. He stood beside the bed, bare back to her and the room completely dark save for the dim lights outside that passed through the window. Winry noticed quickly that his body had not changed. (Unless you counted his height since he was now a bit taller than herself.) He still had his lean muscles and strong build. She could not see his right arm for he held it in front of him with his other hand. But she did notice terrible disfigured scars coming from around the metallic part of his shoulder. He had always had scars there, but these were noticeably different. They were a sign of automail failure. Winry had seen it several times before on others. It meant one of two things: One; the body had rejected the automail or two; the mechanic who had put them on had done something wrong and thus had been forced to quickly (and painfully) remove it once the problem had been confirmed. Clearly the scars weren't from automail rejection, seeing as how his shoulder was metal, and Winry knew she wasn't the one who had screwed up. When Ed had left with her automail, everything had been fine.

But those weren't the only scars Edward had. He had had scars before, ever since he had joined the military. But they had been small. However these scars appeared as if someone had taken a whip to his back. They cut deep into his skin, going across, up, down and more. One fell directly across his shoulder blades and another went directly between them, creating a cross-like image. In her shock at how terribly marred his back was, Winry let the door fall open. It hit the opposite wall with a soft bang, startling Ed and causing him to turn half way. He blinked at her before giving her a flat look.

"Don't you knock?" He muttered.

"It's _my_ room," Winry snapped back instantly. "One doesn't generally knock on their own door."

"Forgot I was here already?"

"I thought you were asleep."

Now that Ed was partly turned, Winry could see his right arm being held by his left hand. It was made of a dull material that attempted to mimic metal, but its lack of luster and brittleness set it easily apart. Patches of rust spread from the elbow, wrist and finger joints.

"That's no even metal," Winry said in disbelief. "You weren't kidding about not having money."

Ed glanced at his arm and shrugged his flesh shoulder. Winry shook her head and placed her hands on her hips, walking into the room.

"We'll go to my shop tomorrow and I can get you _real_ automail."

"I don't have money."

"I didn't ask for money," Winry huffed, stopping in front of him.

"Winry, you have no reason to be so nice to me..."

"Quiet, I can act the way I want to. Now let me see."

She took his right hand before Ed could say anything, causing him to flinch. She frowned at him as she weighed the arm in her hands, examining the entire thing quickly to give herself a rough idea of it. It was too light and brittle to really be of any use. She wondered how he had tolerated it this long. Winry shook her head again.

"Not only is this a piece of crap, but you neglected it and made it worse," She scolded.

Ed rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah. Uh... abrupt change of subject. Where's Al anyway?"

Winry chuckled softly, still staring at his hand she held. She wondered if he could even feel with it.

"I was wondering when you'd ask that. I don't know where he stays, he's never told me. But he comes to visit all the time. Maybe if you stay you... can..."

Winry trailed off, causing Ed to blink at her. She had caught notice of his bare chest. Like his back, it was also littered with deep scars. However unlike his back, the scars were shorter in length but plentiful. Winry dropped his hand and it took Ed a moment to realize what she was staring at. He said nothing, hoping maybe she'd forget it. However she brought one hand up to touch his chest, tracing the scars lightly with her fingertips. Ed stiffened at the touch and jerked away. Winry allowed him to, head bowed and face hidden from him.

"Do you shun all memories of me? Does it hurt that much?" Winry asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Winry, don't..." Ed begged softly, looking away from her.

Winry's hands slid down his chest before she wrapped her arms around his torso, burring her face into his chest. Her body shivered against his and hot tears spilled down her face.

"Four years, Ed... Everyone told me you were dead..." Winry sobbed. "I missed you... Oh God, I missed you so much."

Her hold on him tightened and Ed tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling, eyes hidden by the shadow of his bangs. The two of them stood there like that for a long time, Winry sobbing and holding him fiercely as if letting him go would cause him to disappear. Ed let her hold him this way, but he did not return her embrace. He kept his face heavenward and only moved his head back down when he felt her move. Winry turned her head to rest her cheek against his chest, feeling his warmth and listening to his soft heart beat. She relished this feeling she had missed so much. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world. This secure and warm feeling was only something she felt with Ed, no one else.

He had tilted his head back down, face now near hers. Winry rubbed her cheek lovingly against the rough skin of his scarred chest.

"Why are you doing this?" Ed suddenly muttered in her ear. "You were so mad when you first saw me."

"I still am mad at you," Winry replied softly, voice still a bit choked from her tears. "But there's no time to be mad at you. I never know when you'll leave again."

Winry felt him flinch and she pulled him closer to her to reassure him it was all right.

"I wont... I won't leave again, Winry. I promise I won't."

Winry chuckled bitterly. "Where have I heard that before? What happened to you, Ed? What happened while you were gone?"

"Nothing happened..."

"Nothing!"

Winry pulled away to stare at him with teary eyes. She sounded angry, but her face was not.

"Look at you!" She exclaimed. "You're covered with hideous scars! Your shoulder looks like the automail got infected and your eyes... they're so empty..."

Her words suddenly got Edward on the defensive and he waved her away angrily with his hand, sitting back down on the bed. He worked to pull the covers off while still sitting on them.

"Nothing! I said nothing happened so nothing happened!" Ed snapped, attempting to pull off his shoes with only one working hand.

"Ed, why won't you just tell me! Why can't you ever just talk to me! You don't have to keep secrets from me anymore! Please!"

"_Nothing happened!_ Go away!"

"This is my room!"

"Then leave me alone!"

Ed finally kicked off his shoes and crawled under the covers, yanking them over his scarred body as he flopped over on his side, back to a startled Winry. What had happened just now? Weren't they just in a nice moment...? Obviously the subject was a touchy one, which meant it was something terrible that Ed did not want her to know. Winry stared at his back helplessly before she threw her hands up in the air.

"Fine! I don't care anyway!" She shouted before she stormed over to her own bed across the small room.

She changed into a white nightgown without realizing she had just undressed with Ed in the room and climbed into her bed, burrowing underneath the covers to muffle her sobs of frustration.

_**When everything seems like a dream... You're afraid to wake up and discover that it's real.**_

**Author's Note:** Just wanted to make something clear: Yes, I am aware that Ed was gone for four years after the incident with his mother. However I'm under the impression that he was still in contact with Winry, sending her letters and such. In this fic, the four years that have gone by have been without any contact what-so-ever. To Winry, Ed disappeared off the face of the earth. That is all. :)


	2. fragments of a dream

My December II

fragments of a dream

_The Rockbell house had never been more alive or so it felt to Winry. She couldn't remember the last time she had this many people here or felt this happy about it. It was a celebration and there was a large reason to celebrate. Ed had returned from the dead. At least that's what it felt like to everyone. They had all believed he was truly gone. Everyone expect her and Al. Both of them refused to accept the idea that Edward was gone forever. Winry was well aware of the sad looks she received from Pinako when she would turn on the flickering lantern outside or talk about new automail designs for Ed for the day he returned. One night her grandmother had sat her down and tried to make her understand that Ed was dead. Winry would hear none of it. Now it was clear how right she had been to believe Ed was alive. But the Ed that had left was not the same one that had returned and she knew it the moment he had arrived. _

_He was oddly quietly, taking it in as Al chatted excitedly to him. He was brought instantly to the Rockbell home and upon noticing he had a fever, promptly sent to bed to rest. It was a hassle to keep Al away so he could sleep, but Winry managed. In fact, it was hard to keep herself away too. So she cheated, using the bowl of water and the wet cloth draped over the edge of it as an excuse to go in and see him. She found him sitting up, looking out the window at the snow covered countryside. His hair was in a ponytail, slung over one shoulder. Winry noticed how it had gotten longer over the two years he had been gone. His golden eyes were distance, face peaceful. She paused in front of the closed door with the bowl in hand, unsure of what to make of this. Clearly something was wrong. He wasn't himself, he hadn't really said anything for two days and he seemed to have gotten thinner since he came back. Winry wondered if she should have brought him food instead._

_"Ed?" She asked softly, afraid to disturb him._

_Ed glanced over at her, the movement of his head causing his ponytail to move off his shoulder. She smiled at him and walked over, placing the bowl of cold water on the night stand beside the bed._

_"Are you feeling better, Ed?" She asked, voice still quiet as if talking louder would break the mood._

_"Yeah, I'm fine," He replied._

_"Well, that's good. You gave me a heart attack when you nearly passed out!"_

_"Sorry."_

_Winry blinked and frowned a bit. An awkward silence settled over the room and Winry wasn't sure what to say. So her eyes wandered and found the dresser. Upon it sat a jade comb with a beautiful white flower on it. Winry walked over to it curiously, feeling Ed's eyes follow her. She picked it up carefully, running her fingers lightly over its teeth. She plucked a strand of hair from it and twirled it between her fingers._

_"This is... yours?"_

_"Don't ask," Ed chuckled softly._

_Winry smiled as she heard him chuckle and glanced up. "Whose is it?"_

_"Ah... it belonged to... someone... Just a person..." Ed muttered, quickly looking back out the window._

_"Oh..."_

_Ed offered nothing more than that and Winry couldn't help but wonder who this 'someone' was as she ran her fingers lightly over the teeth of the comb. Her instant thought was a lady friend who was close. And given the way he was acting... Why did that hurt so much to think he had found a lover... where ever it was he had gone? Winry walked over to his bedside casually, trying not to let her thoughts show on her face._

_"It's a very beautiful comb," She said, only realizing how stupid that sounded after it left her mouth._

_Ed nodded and glanced at her. He paused for a moment before he reached up and took the jade comb from her hands, tucking it gently in her blonde hair near her ear. Winry felt herself blush, but she could not tear her eyes away from his terribly sad eyes. Ed moved his hands back to his lap and smiled just a little, cocking his head slightly to one side to cause his bangs to shift drastically._

_"It suits you. Keep it."_

_Winry smiled and touched it gently. "Really?"_

_"Yeah."_

_Winry nodded and dropped her hand, clasping her hands together behind her back._

_"Thanks. I'll treasure it always."_

There was no sun that morning as Winry stirred. No sun, just more gray clouds veiling the sky and spitting snow. Winry cracked open her eyes, blinking painfully into the bright outside via the window. Once her eyes adjusted she finally noticed the empty bed beside the window. Wait... empty? Winry sat up, shivering as a gush of cold air washed over her. For a moment she felt like crying. He couldn't be gone again... Then she noticed his suitcase was still there. Quickly she left her bed, tugging on a robe and some slippers. The house was still, quiet, and cold. She found Ed sitting at the kitchen table, wearing a black undershirt with his pants. His left hand clutched the handle of a white coffee mug and steam curled from the top, disappearing against the white of the window he was gazing out of. His hair had been tied into a ponytail which was now draped over one shoulder. She paused half way to the table and the noise of her feet shuffling on the hardwood floor made Ed glance over. The ponytail slid off his shoulder at the motion.

"You're up early," Winry said, voice low. "It's barely after dawn."

Ed shrugged. "I always get up early. Why are _you_ up early is the real question."

"I don't know," She admitted. "I was... I thought you had left again."

Ed frowned at her and turned away, glancing back out the window. "I told you I wouldn't, Winry."

"I can't really trust your word anymore, Edward."

Ed flinched at how her voice suddenly sounded. Cold and unforgiving. It hurt, but that's how it had to be. She shouldn't forgive him. She couldn't forgive him. After what he had done to her... He tightened his grip on his mug and lifted it to his lips, taking a large gulp and not even caring as the hot liquid burned his tongue. There was a silence afterwards in which Winry got herself some coffee and sat down across from him, staring out the window also and trying to match his distant gaze. When she couldn't stand the silence anymore, she spoke quietly.

"Say... Ed?"

"Hm?"

"We're going to my shop today and getting you some real automail."

"You make it sound like I don't have a choice..."

"You don't," Winry said simply, sipping her coffee. "I won't let you wander around with such horrible automail."

Ed wonder if that was because she wanted him to be that walking advertisement for her work again or because she really cared. It was hard to tell at this point as she left the table to make breakfast. It felt very awkward and yet normal at the same time to be with Winry again. Ed wasn't aware that feeling this way at the same time was possible until now. Still with the notion that he really shouldn't be here with Winry like this, he fell silent and only spoke when he was spoken too. It was not a characteristic of Ed and Winry wondered if her previous comment had gotten to him. After breakfast, Ed helped her clean up before she shooed him back to her room.

"Go get dressed. Hurry up, we're leaving for my shop as soon as we're both ready."

"Do we really have to do this today?" Ed asked, rubbing the back of his head.

"Of course we have to! How many times do I have to tell you, I don't want you limping around like that! Now go!" Winry cried, pushing him toward her room.

"H-Hey wait! I thought it was because--Oof!"

Ed never finished his statement as Winry shoved him inside and shut the door, sighing. She rubbed her head.

_Twenty-three and still as stubborn a mule._

Two hours later, they left down the shoveled sidewalk. It had finally stopped snowing and the streets were busy. Children played in the empty streets, throwing snowballs at each other or sledging down the hills. A few had a game of ice hockey going.

"I can't believe it took you so long to get ready," Winry sighed. "I think this is the first time in history that a man took longer to get ready than a woman."

"Shut up," Ed grumbled, eyes straying to watch the ice hockey game as they passed it. "You try getting dressed without the use of one arm."

"You can still move your arm, can't you?"

"Yeah, but not very well. I avoid it when I can."

"Well, don't worry. We'll get your properly equip!"

"...Why are you wearing that?"

Winry blinked and glanced over at Ed curiously. He was still looking away.

"Wearing what?"

"That comb."

Winry reached up gently to touch the comb she had placed into the part of her hair clipped up.

She frowned. "Because I like it. What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing..."

The pair finally reached Winry's shop sometime later, entering the wonderfully heated building. Winry quickly made her way inside while Ed glanced around the place curiously, a smile growing on his lips with every inch of the room his eyes explored.

"You finally got everything you wanted, Winry," He said after a moment of silence.

Winry paused in cleaning up the area and glanced over her shoulder at him. "Not everything... but I think I'm half way there."

Ed decided not to think about what she meant as he sat down in a chair Winry indicated to. She then continued running about the room, gathering things she needed. It was at that moment that a door leading to a back room opened and a man stepped out, cleaning his hands on an oil stained rag. He paused in the doorway as both Ed and Winry turned to him. The man was tall with dusty blonde hair and green eyes that peered out from underneath long bangs. His hair was long enough to be tied into a small rat tail in the back. He was skinny and more slender, lacking the muscles Ed had acquired, but he was hardly unattractive. He seemed instantly curious in Ed and in turn Ed was instantly curious about him.

"I thought I heard you come in, Winry," The man said after a moment of studying Ed, smiling pleasantly at the mechanic. "What are you doing here? The shop doesn't open today."

"Ah... yes, I know. But there was an emergency," Winry replied, smiling weakly.

Ed instantly had a terrible sinking feeling and he slumped in his chair, tightening his jaw to ensure he didn't say anything. But now the man's eyes flickered back to him. They were examining him with such an opinionated stare that it made him shift uncomfortably in his seat. Not about to be stared at in such a way, Ed glared back at him. The man blinked, then smiled.

"I've never seen you around here before. Are you a friend of Winry's?" He asked cheerfully.

Ed decided he didn't like this guy very much. "You could say that."

"Great! The name's Grett. Nice to meet you, Mister...?"

"Edward Elric."

The man's face flickered and fell, growing suddenly dark. Ed arched an eyebrow at him.

"What's your problem?" He muttered.

But Grett had forgotten about him by this point. "Winry!"

Winry was suddenly in between Ed and Grett. She held up her hands to Grett in a calming gesture. Instantly Ed straightened.

"It's all right," Winry said quickly. "Really, it's--"

"It's _not_!" Grett exclaimed, throwing his rag down on the floor. "After what he did, you took him back!"

"No! I mean... not in the way you're thinking!" Winry said desperately.

"What other way is there! I won't let you do this to yourself again! Forgive me sounding harsh, but have you learned _nothing_?"

"It's not.. like that. Look, let's not talk about this now, okay?"

"No, go on," Ed said dryly from behind her. "I'm most fascinated."

Winry jumped and turned quickly, apparently having forgotten he was there. Grett glared hatefully, rounding on him.

"Watch your mouth, you bastard," He snarled. "Learn this now: You aren't welcomed here."

Ed abruptly stood. He looked ready to explode and tackle Grett any second. However his dark gaze fell to Winry.

"You tell the whole fucking city or what?" He cried in true disbelief.

"Shut up, you don't know anything!" Winry snapped back, meeting his gaze with a dark look of her own. "Grett is... He knows because he was there for me after you left! After..."

She instantly fell silent and Ed did not fail to notice the sudden pain that flashed in her eyes. Before he could say anything, however, Grett cut in between them, glaring at Ed.

"You should leave now, Mr. Elric," Grett said darkly.

Ed stared at him, then toward Winry who didn't seem ready to object. After a moment of tense silence he whirled away and limped back toward the door.

"Wait! Ed, you--"

"Forget it!" Ed shouted, cutting Winry off violently. "I don't have any money anyway!"

He disappeared out the door and Winry discarded her tools on the table to hurry after him. She paused in the doorway, one hand on the frame and the other keeping the door held open. She stared after Ed's retreating back, limping down the sidewalk. Both her legs and throat were frozen even though she wanted nothing more than to call to him or run to get him. But all she did was watch him leave. A gentle hand on her shoulder startled her and she looked up at Grett in alarm.

"You haven't told him, have you?" Grett sighed softly, threatening look gone from his eyes.

Winry lowered her gaze quickly to her feet, bending one arm across her front to wrap her fingers around her other arm. "No... There's no reason too now..."

"No reason to!" Grett cried in disbelief. "Winry..."

He pulled her back into the warmer shop, letting the door fall shut with a soft ring. He placed both hands on her shoulders and looked into her face sincerely.

"Tell him. It would serve him right... so he'd know what kind of bastard he really is."

Winry glared and pulled away, moving back to her bench quickly. "He didn't know at the time, either, Grett. I told you that."

"How couldn't he have known? Or at least had an idea that it might happen! Is he that dense?"

Winry chuckled softly as she paused, staring dejectedly down at the tools scattered across the table. "He's dense, but... it isn't suppose to happen the first time."

"That's not an excuse. Winry, you can't forgive this guy so easily.." Grett pleaded.

He moved over to stand behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders once more. Winry flinched and moved away, earning a sigh from him.

"Not interested in me now that he's back, eh?" Grett muttered.

"I was never interested in you. I've told you that," Winry said firmly and went about cleaning up the unused tools.

"Right," Grett sighed.

Ed was tittering between fuming and sulking as he made his way down the sidewalk. He didn't even know where he was _going_. He didn't know this place and now he knew for certain he could not stay with Winry. He would have to get his stuff later. Something cold suddenly smacked him in the side of the face, causing him to stagger to a halt. He brushed the snow from his face and turned, ready to vent his frustration out on the culprit. However the culprit was a boy looking up at him with large brown eyes. He had dark hair and skin and was dressed up in thick winter clothing.

"Sorry, mister," The kid muttered honestly.

Ed sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "No worries... Just be careful next time. But I have to tell you, that was one bad snowball, kid."

The kid blinked and Ed knelt down with some difficulty. He scooped a handful of snow into his gloved hands.

"Now watch," He told the child. "You have to do it like this, see? Gotta pack the snow together real tight or else it falls apart when you throw it."

He began to pack the snow a certain way and the kid shuffled carefully closer, peering at his work with interest. Ed completed his work and held out the perfectly round snowball to him.

"You can have it," He said kindly, smiling.

The kid blinked, then smiled shyly and took it carefully in his mitten covered hands.

"Cody! Cody, don't approach strangers like that and..."

Ed glanced up and the boy turned around. A woman had approached them, brown hair past her waist and long bangs dyed a rosy pink. Her dark eyes were wide, her mouth half hidden by her thick tan scarf and her figure concealed in many layers of clothing.

"Edward..."

Ed stood, wincing as his left leg refused to unbend. He used his hand to force it unbent before he could stand. He smiled weakly at the woman, the boy now at her side.

"Hello, Rose. You're son has grown, huh?"

"I don't believe it... You're back," Rose said softly, apparently having not heard his comment. "You're a mess."

"Aw, thanks," Ed chuckled dryly.

Rose stared at him a moment longer to confirm he was really there before she straightened, taking Cody's hand with one hand and snatching Ed's flesh arm with the other.

"H-Hey!" Ed protested as he was dragged down the sidewalk in the opposite direction he had been walking in. "Where are you...?"

"There's someone who wants to see you," Rose replied simply, not looking back at him.

"I already saw Winry," Ed said quickly. "I don't--"

"No, Ed," Rose said, although she sounded a bit surprised at his words. "I'm talking about your brother."

**_Where did you go wrong?_**


	3. all the things left behind

**Author's Note:** WOW. It's been forever, huh? Well.. same old excuses for why, I'm afraid. School, life, school, college stuff… The usual. Thank you to all still reading and who stuck with me. It really means a lot. This chapter is dedicated to dzioo and Dragon Rider Tayo. Thank you both for the motivation to FINALLY finish this chapter and to let me know that people really care abut my stories. You guys are the greatest!

My December III

all the things left behind

Instantly Ed felt his chest tighten and a large lump form in his throat with Rose's words.

_Al..._

He suddenly dug his heels into the ground to slow the pace, but it was useless due to the ice and snow.

"N-No, wait! I-I can't!" Ed stammered, trying to pry himself from Rose's surprisingly strong grip.

"What do you mean 'you can't'?" Rose demanded, halting so suddenly that Ed bumped into her.

She turned, eyes narrowed and a confused Cody by her side. He blinked between the two of them. Rose released him and dropped her now free hand to her hip.

"You're going to avoid your own brother? That's not the Edward I remember."

Ed's face flinched and he looked away quickly, eyes sudden extremely sad. The look made Rose's face soften and a frown tugged at her lips. Suddenly she understood. The Edward she remembered was gone.

"I want to see him," Ed muttered. "But..."

"But?" Rose pressed.

"But I doubt... he wants to see me."

"Oh, Ed..."

"Mama?" Cody suddenly interrupted, tugging eagerly at Rose's arm. "Can I go back and play now? This is boring."

Rose smiled and released Cody's hand. "All right, but you need to come back in soon for some lunch, all right?"

Cody nodded and hurried off happily. Ed watched him go, turning to see him join a group of other kids. They all went racing off together.

"Ed, Al isn't angry with you. Not anymore," Rose said, keeping her voice gentle. "You leaving hurt him most of all, but you know that. Don't make him hurt anymore. He misses you like I'm sure you miss him. A lot has happened, but I don't believe your bond with him has grown even the tiniest bit weaker. Please come see him."

Ed was silent, still turned toward where Cody and his friends had run off to. Thus his face was hidden from Rose, but she could only imagine what it looked like. She looked at him, eyes pleading and hands balled into fists at her side.

"Al is... He's sixteen now, right?"

Rose looked surprised. His voice was very emotionless. "Yes... He is."

"He lives with you?"

"Sometimes. Al has turned into a wanderer as of late. He doesn't really have a place to live ever since Resembool was destroyed. He sometimes stays with Winry for several days. But when he's not with either of us I don't know where he goes."

"I see..."

Rose stared at the back of his head, waiting for him to continue. When Ed offered nothing more, she reached out and touched his shoulder gently.

"Please come see him."

"...All right. I will."

Rose smiled and Ed turned around to face her, offering a small smile of his own. Rose then lead the rest of the way down the street to a small skinny building between two businesses. Both were automail shops and Ed's eyes lingered over them curiously.

"Winry got me into the business," Rose chuckled. "I got interested so she taught me everything. Now we both own businesses. I'd offer to make you some limbs, seeing as how your current ones don't work well, but Winry might get angry at me." Rose opened the door and waved Ed in.

"Heh, don't bet on it. I'm not welcomed there anymore," He grumbled bitterly.

Rose frowned as he moved past her and shut the door. Either Winry was really that mad or those words belonged to Grett. She honestly couldn't be sure at this point. They stood in a narrow carpeted hallway with a closet door directly in front of them. In here was where Rose disposed of her heavy jacket, scarf, hat, gloves and snow covered boots. She took Edward's coat in a polite gesture and led him down the narrow hall, then a sharp right up some steep steps. The next door they passed through was her homely living space, set up almost exactly like Winry's apartment.

"It isn't much," Rose commented as she closed the door behind Ed.

Ed glanced around before he settled on the small couch. "It's nice."

Rose smiled. "Anything to drink?"

"No thanks."

Rose nodded and went into the kitchen anyway. Ed sighed and leaned back against the soft cushions. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes.

_Edward was not recovering. It had been a few weeks and he still seemed to be in poor health. He rarely left his room._

_"No, he's fine physically. I'm sure he is," the doctor had told the worried Rockbells. "It's his mental health that has me concerned. If I had to diagnose him, I'd say he's in a bout of depression."_

_"What can we do to help him?" Pinako asked calmly. Even in her last years she was taking care of her adopted children._

_The doctor scratched his chin thoughtfully. "I can't say. Mental health isn't my field. If it gets worse, he needs to see someone. By you know what they say. The best medicine can come from home."_

_Home. Winry almost laughed when the doctor said that word. Ed didn't believe this was his home. Besides that, what could they possibly do to help him? She was so sure seeing Al again would bring a smile to his face. Granted, it did, but not in the same way. He had lost something dear to him and it was still hurting. They advised the doctor's words and kept an eye on him for any signs that he was getting worse. The problem was, Winry had no idea what she was looking for. Al visited him all the time. The young boy of twelve stayed extremely positive and even managed to drag Ed into the world a couple of times. But it seemed like every time he saw her face something snapped and he disappeared back behind his closed door. _

_Winry played on all kinds of emotions during this time. She went from sick with worry to increasingly frustrated with Edward's lack of ability to communicate. She had tried numerous times to get him to talk about what was causing this sudden alienation from everyone. But she hadn't been able to do it. He merely shrugged her off or it turned into an argument which left them both sour for the rest of the day. Her reunion with Edward after two years had played out a lot differently in her head._

_"He won't really talk to me either," Al said sadly one day, sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea in his hands. "He tells me not to worry. He says it has nothing to do with me, but he won't talk about it."_

_Something told Winry it had everything to do with her. After several days of this, she finally got fed up. Winry was not a very patient person when it came to Ed's stubbornness. She was going to prove she could be just as stubborn as him._

_It happened on a particularly cold afternoon. The sky was gray, threatening to add more snow to the ground. Ed was where he usually was these days, sitting on the bed locked in his room currently absorbed by a book. It was the reason he didn't hear Winry knock or notice she was even there until the door had shut behind her. He glanced up curiously, blinking a few times to focus. Winry looked at him curiously, noticing a pair of reading glasses resting on the end of his nose. She titled her head as she took in this new look._

_"Since when do you wear glasses?" She asked._

_"Since I discovered it helps me read for longer periods of time and not give me a headache," Ed replied with a shrug._

_He removed the glasses and folded the bands before he looked back up at her. "Do you want something?"_

_"I'm worried about you, Edward..."_

_Ed made a face and looked away from her, down to the cover of the book now resting in his lap. He placed his hand over it as Winry shuffled over to stand at his bedside._

_"You aren't acting like yourself," Winry continued carefully. "You're making Al sad."_

_Ed's hand tightened on the book and he sighed, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry to worry you both..."_

_"If you were really sorry, you'd tell us what's wrong," Winry replied stiffly._

_She knew she was taking a huge risk by saying that, but she had to do it. She couldn't stand idly by anymore. For Al's sake and her own, she had to get Ed to talk. Ed was silent for a long few minutes, merely sitting completely still with his eyes closed. Finally he opened them and turned to stare out the window. Winry watched him intently, linking her fingers together in front of her nervously._

_"Where I was... on the other side of the Gate... there were people who had the same faces as the people here. They were kind of like... alternate personalities or something," Ed began slowly._

_Winry titled her head slightly. She was actually surprised he was really opening up to her. Even if she couldn't make heads or tails about the whole Gate thing, she was certainly going to try for his sake._

_"An alternate reality?" She inquired._

_"Something like that," Ed replied, shrugging his left shoulder. "I met someone there who looked like Al... His name was Alphonse, too."_

_Winry looked fascinated. "A person with Al's face? I can't imagine."_

_"He had blonde hair and blue eyes. He was seventeen years old and taller than me."_

_Winry giggled softly at the way he had said that. She could almost see his face scrunch up in annoyance. He wasn't facing her, however, so she could just imagine. Slowly Winry lowered herself to sit on the edge of his bed._

_"It was hard to look at his face. He just reminded me of Al and yet he wasn't Al at all. He was very kind to me. I also met... you... while I was there."_

_Winry failed to hide surprise from her face. She pointed to herself stupidly. "Me? You met someone there who looked like me?"_

_"Yeah, except her eyes were green. She was from a rich family..." Ed suddenly gave a small dry laugh. "She was into mechanics just like you. Not nearly obsessed with them, but close enough."_

_"I'm not obsessed!"_

_"Of course you are."_

_Winry made a face at the back of his head and stuck out her tongue. Then Ed's voice took on such a sad tone that it made her heart ache._

_"But she... Winry in the alternate world, I mean... She died." Ed turned his head so that Winry could see the profile view of his face. The look on his face matched his tone of voice. "She fell in love with me at some point, but I... I was so cruel to her. I didn't want to love her because... I didn't want to stay in that world."_

_Winry felt herself blush despite herself. The way he talked so openly about this... She certainly wasn't use to that. She felt embarrassed suddenly and she wasn't quite sure why. Her eyes lowered to her hands folded in her lap. So now it all made the sense. The reason her face made him run away... the reason he was sad to look at her. She felt silly for being mad at him for that now that she knew the truth. A sudden thought struck her. Had he... actually fallen in love with her? Did he love that other version of her? The thought was painful and yet comforting at the same time. She glanced up at him._

_"That comb..."_

_Ed nodded slightly. "It was hers. She gave it to me."_

_Winry noted how his eyes seemed to recall something painful and she looked back down at her hands. Slowly a small smile crossed her lips._

_"If she was anything like me... I'm sure she understood why you pushed her away."_

_Ed was silent for a moment. For some reason hearing Winry say that hurt. He looked to her. "...Do you think so?"_

_Winry looked at him and smiled. "Yeah. It may have hurt, but... I'm sure she realized you were trying to protect her from hurting more."_

_Ed had never thought about it that way before. The problem was deeper, however. He blamed himself for her death. He treated her unkindly but in the end she had loved him. She had given her life for him even as he turned her down. Her unyielding devotion to him had been strangely frightening. He didn't want anyone that devoted to him. (Al was an exception.) He didn't want anyone loving him that much because he knew. Everyone who had ever loved him that much had been taken away. His mother by death... Al, technically, with the loss of his body... and Winry Diamond by Envy's cruel hand._

_"Thank you... Winry..." He muttered after a moment._

_Winry stood and clamped her hands together behind her back, smiling. "Anytime. Will you talk to Al now? He's really worried."_

_Ed nodded._

_"Good! Get better soon, okay? Then we can finally equip you with some good automail."_

_Ed blinked and glanced at his right arm. He had completely forgotten that he still had that crappy prosthetic his father had crafted for him. He nodded again. Winry smiled once more before she left the room. Finally things seemed to be looking up for a change._

"Ed? Ed, wake up."

Ed suddenly jerked away and Rose withdrew her hand from his shoulder. She smiled at him as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up. At some point Ed had fallen over onto the couch as he had drifted off to sleep. A blanket had been laid over him.

"Ah.. I'm sorry..." He muttered. He was regretting getting up early this morning.

"Don't worry about it. You've had a long day I'm sure," Rose replied.

"How long was I asleep?"

"Not too long. Here, come into the kitchen. Are you hungry?"

Ed crawled off the couch, brushing the blanket away as he did. He stood and paused to stretch before he followed Rose into the kitchen. He didn't enter, however, and instead froze in the entrance way. Someone was already in the kitchen sitting at the kitchen table with a sad expression in his eyes.

"A-Al..." Ed muttered in surprise.

He wasn't sure why he was so surprised. After all, he was here because Rose wanted him to see his brother. So that obviously meant his brother was here. Still that didn't make this any easier. It still hurt to see him... to have his heart clench at the sight of his now sixteen year old brother. Al looked surprisingly different. He had kept his hair short. It looked almost the same as it had when he was a kid. He had certainly grown up, however, and his cute boyish face had turned into the handsome face of an adolescent. He was taller. Even sitting down he looked a little taller than Ed and that irked him just a bit, as it always had. Had Ed not been so frightened, he may have made a joke about this. Al stared at him for a long time. He merely stared, eyes unreadable. Ed could only guess what he was thinking. During this silence, Rose quietly slipped out of the kitchen without a word. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Al slowly stood up from his chair. One hand on the table, he turned his body slightly to face Ed.

"...When did you get back?" Al finally asked.

He wasn't that tall after all. Ed still had a few inches over him. Ed bowed his head to hide his shame.

"Last night... or... early this morning."

"I see. I take it you already saw Winry."

"We... kind of found each other."

Another uncomfortable pause of silence. Ed had never felt the guilt more in his entire life. He shifted a bit underneath Al's gaze.

"I... hated you for leaving, you know," Al suddenly said softly.

Ed flinched inwardly, but didn't dare look up.

"I said to myself, 'How could he leave again after vanishing for two years? How! I hate him! I hate him for leaving!'... I told myself I hated you for the longest time. But I knew... I really didn't. You had your own reasons for leaving... reasons I probably won't understand."

That was the problem. The reasons Ed had disappeared... even he wasn't sure what they were. He stood stalk still, afraid to do or say anything. But suddenly Al had embraced him and had buried his face into his shoulder, voice tight with tears.

"Don't ever leave me again, Brother..."

Ed smiled slightly. He may look different, but Al was still Al. He didn't hesitate to return Al's embrace.

"I won't, Al. I won't. I promise."

Things settled slightly after that. Al suddenly seemed happy and cheerful again as was his personality. He chatted with Ed openly. There was no tension between Al and Ed anymore. Not like there was with Winry, but that was different. Even after really bad fights, Ed and Al could always be fine a few minutes later. Winry and Ed, on the other hand... Sometimes it had taken days for the two to make up. Ed decided to stay with Rose for awhile. He didn't go back to Winry's place because he was still angry. His anger was more targeted to Grett, but Ed decided Winry could be the target too. After all, she was the one going around blabbing about everything that had happened to complete strangers.

"You know that isn't the case, Brother," Al sighed, interrupting Ed mid-rant. "Grett came to her to learn how to make automail. They became good friends and Winry just began to confide in him."

Unfortunately Al's words just seemed to piss Ed off even worse and it wasn't until it was too late did Al realize how his words must have sounded to Ed. He thought about going to see how Winry was doing, but Ed told him not to get involved with their problems. Al was slightly hurt by that. After all, Winry was his dearest friend and Ed was his dearest (and only) brother. Seeing them like this was hard on him, too.

"You should talk to her," Rose told Ed one day, trying to help out Al when the boy had complained to her. "When Grett's not around, I mean. You know she'll listen to you. She's never turned you away."

"Yeah!" Al agreed. "Winry's always been there."

As much as Ed appreciated their encouragement they were starting to sound like nagging parents. He also noticed how carefully they avoided the subject of their past relations. He guessed that was wise considering he just might snap if they dared. Finally, after constant bickering, Rose and Al won and Ed reluctantly wandered down the street to Winry's apartment. However no one was home when he got there. He thought she had just gone out, but after searching the obvious places he could still not find her. Worry began to grow and it became so bad that he dared to go to her shop, confronting the one person he wanted to avoid. Grett gave him the dirtiest look when he entered.

"Where's Winry?" Ed demanded, returning the glare.

"What do you care?" Grett snarled, turning away from him to carry some spare parts to the back room.

Ed followed him. "Just tell me, will ya?"

Grett dumped the parts on an old table and turned to face Ed. "She was so worried about you after you left and never came back. Why do you keep doing that to her!"

Ed flinched, but didn't dare let Grett see. "Shut up! Are you going to tell me or not!"

Grett stared at him long and hard, arms crossed over his chest. Ed could almost hear Grett debating with himself. Finally the man sighed and dropped his arms.

"Winry's in the hospital. Maybe if you gave a rat's ass you would have known that."

But Ed didn't hear Grett's insult. He was already out the door.

**_If I have to suffer like this, it would've been better not to have known each other at all._**


End file.
